This is a collection of some of the lame/stupid/funny/etc mail that I have recieved, regarding the Whacked Mac Archives. Unfortunatly alot of the good stuff was lost recently due to a hard drive crash I had which is one of the reasons I decided to start this collection. I'll be adding to it over time as more of this crazy mail comes in. It is provided here, in chronological order, for your ammusement and as an example of what NOT to send as mail lest you be added to the list. I have made no changes to the letters except for the email names or other identification means. I have left the domain names alone so you can see where the majority of them come from. Enjoy.




From: EVERYIDIOT@aol.com
Date: Sun, 12 Jan 1997 13:17:45 -0500 (EST)
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: to whom it may concern.....about archives?

I really want to be a hacker or cracker what ever you know my real screen
name is Madd Hacker but this is just my mom's stupid ass name. You know?
Well lets get down to business I need to know some stuff be for I actually
purchase some archives stuff.
1.would I have to DOWNLOAD anything?
2.what should I do if I were to get caught?
3.how much is this going to cost?
4.how much more would it cost to have it put in Lamen's term?
5.how do I send you the money?
6.where do I send you the money?
If I could have this information sent to me as soon as possible
THANK YOU
Madd hackeR

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Lemme guess, you just rented Hackers didn't you?
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From: Tiger
Date: Tue, 24 Dec 1996 12:45:49 -0700
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: FTP

WhAt Th3 FuX RoNg wItH tH3 fTp S3Rv3r ???

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NuTin. WhAt iS RoNg w|t U? O 5h|T! \/\/ |-| /\ T |s \/\/Ro|\|g w1T |\/|e? ARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Feeeww, I almost got infected there. That was close. Jeez I hope there are no lasting side aff3ct5.
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From: whiz@hotmail.com
Date: Fri, 13 Dec 1996 00:27:55 +0100
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: internetworm.c

hello..
i just wondered where the internetworm is located

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It is stored in a jar of phormaldhyde in a locked safe deep in the basement of the National Science Foundation. It is stored there for study in the future when we will have the technology to understand it.
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From: Tennessee Williams
Date: Sun, 24 Nov 1996 04:29:57 +0000
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: Service Sucks

Dear Whacked,
You need to get more than 5 connections for your ftp. You also
need to get new computer that are better for speed and connetions.
Just thought you might want to know.

~Tennessee
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Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I would have never realized that the user limit was to low, or that the site was to slow unless you had mentioned it. Thank you so much. I am indebted to you forever.
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From: John
Date: Sun, 17 Nov 1996 14:13:27 -0600
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: how

Could you please tell me how to download the files from the FTP server i
have been in several times but I can't figure out how to download.

THANKS

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Ahhhh, try clicking your mouse where it says 'FTP'.
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From: kindred
Date: Wed, 08 Nov 1995 06:18:11 +1000
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: Translator

G'day,

I was woundering if you had or if you could please make a decimel hacker, so
that home users can go into the 111000111 etc. code and translate it into text so
that we can hack it. Some No. arn't in the HH/C&N. and also if you could make
somthing that will translate it back into the 1110001101 etc.

Regards,
VirgoSwacker
(kindred@newcontent.net.au)

p.s. if your going to send any files could you please e-mail them to:
Tom_Kingman@primary.donvale.vic.edu.au
and then e-mail here saying you have e-mailed it their so that I can get it off
their systems asap. Thanks!

-----

What the hell are you talking about? A decimal hacker? What the hell is that? Might you possibly be confused with binary? And dude you need a real account if you have to go through that mess to recieve files. They must have some pretty good dope down under, sounds like you've smoked quite a bit of it.
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From: Jack
Date: Sun, 03 Nov 1996 13:38:02 +0000
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: How do yuo hack AOL?

I'm pretty good at hacking shareware codes... but AOL is harder. If
you know how to please E-mail me.

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Yeah, AOL is wicked hard man. I don't know of anyone who has hacked it yet. Good luck man.
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From: Susan
Date: Thu, 05 Sep 1996 09:27:42 +0000
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: This stuff is cool:)

Ok what this mail message comes down to is, i want information on
hacking and how to do it, fast:) I will pay if necessary, and i would
really enjoy, learning this new and exciting craft. I understand the
risks, and i would greatly appreciate some information, so as soon as
you can, Mail me at TREEME@latte.hi.net, not the reply command but the
mail one, anyway if you would like to meet me online so that we can
talk, i have a safe mud that i made just for that purpose, so if you
want to, go for it, and mail me, thanks
Captin Kid

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You just don't get it do you?
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From: liquid@wahoo.netrunner.net
Date: Wed, 14 Aug 1996 18:42:25 -0400
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: Vital Information

Your Spelling Sucks.

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Thanks. I aim to plese.
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From: Goon@aol.com
Date: Tue, 13 Aug 1996 22:40:44 -0400
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: AOLWAREZ

CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHERE ANY MAC WAREZ ROOMS ARE??? I WOULD GREATLY
APPRECIATE ANY RESPONSE!!!!!!!

BEST REGARDS,
GOON@AOL.COM

----

Warning: You have ventured beyond the walls of AOL. If you do not return to AOL immediatly you will be shot! This will be your only warning.
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From:IDIOTLOAD54@aol.com
Date: Tue, 23 Jul 1996 14:00:53 -0400
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: im stumped

i can't find your files i look and look and look,but i still cant find
them?Yes i went to FAQ and couldn't find the right web page all the web pages
were sending me back to your web page. And if the Virii are live then when
you put the CD in won't it contaminate your computer?

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God damn, How many times do I have to say it, STOP USING NETSCAPE! Yes, the Virii will infect your system the second you insert the CD or download the files. jeez. They are COMPRESSED!
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From: Hello8765@aol.com
Date: Mon, 22 Jul 1996 18:32:09 -0400
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: Question

call me a retard,but i can't find the files of WMA and i tried for a really
long timeOK So tell me please

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Ok, your a retard.
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From: Fake Merrill
Date: Sun, 21 Jul 1996 23:30:13 -0400
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: HELP

where are all the files i cant find any

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On the autumnal equinox the moons light will shine through the hole in the rocks and guide you to the files.
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From: NOHNE@aol.com
Date: Sun, 21 Jul 1996 21:09:21 -0400
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: The anonymous thing dosen't work

Please Help ME!!!!

----

And how exactly should I do that?
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From: matt1234@aol.com
Date: Sat, 20 Jul 1996 02:02:42 -0500
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: i love you

i love you you are so cool but are you fat

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Yeah, I've been meaning to excersise.
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From: Lane Nimrod
Date: Thu, 11 Jul 1996 20:33:18 +0000
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: Phantom FTP locations....

I have had your www site on my bookmark list for about a year and
have NEVER been able to access the purportedly existing "Whacked Mac
Archive".
Is it remotely possible that there really is no FTP site and it is
just an ad for your CD?
Is it possible that this whole site is really a front for Basque
terrorists trying to fund their covert plan to buy lamas and invade
Micheal Jackson's NeverNever Land?

-I submit that the answer to both of those questions is a resounding
"Does the pope wear a funny hat?"

-ace miller the lady killer

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Yeah, you discovered my secret. Its all a front. A secret plot to take over the world. Mwahahahaha.
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From: "showme"
Date: Sat, 06 Jul 1996 12:24:22 -0500
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: hack teach

Spacerouge,

I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO HACK!!!!!!

MAVERICK
----

Thats nice.
----

From: Allen
Date: Fri, 05 Jul 1996 22:44:21 +0000
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: newt, not the republican, the pda

would u happen to lknow where i can get something that turns my newton
into A redbox

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Try Radio Shack.
----

From: cole
Date: Wed, 03 Jul 1996 18:42:35 +0000
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: ####

CAN YOU SEND me a hacker program for mac that you can Make fake acounts or make virusis!!! Please reply~!!!! oh yeah Do you have any fake accounts for any thing??????!!

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Just call us "Fake Accounts R Us"
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Date: Sun, 30 Jun 1996 07:09:10 -0700
From: dafy
To: whacked@l0pht.com

can you guys please send me somethin like a hacker startin kit or tell me how to start to hack.
thanx

---

Sure, the starter kit is located on the FTP site, jeeezz.

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Date: Sat, 29 Jun 1996 22:05:12 -0700
To: whacked@L0pht.com
From: anonymous-remailer@shell.portal.com
Subject: please help...

hay Space Rogue,
(u might get this E-mail twice becawse i didnt know what email address to send it 2, but ok)
iv see your Wacked Mac page and i think its great!
i was wondering if u could help me with a little problem...
i know this really anonying wanta-be hacker and i wanted to know if u would help me 'DESTROY' him. ill give u some info on him so u can make his life a living hell (Hack his account etc...)!!!
his Real Name : Todd Dorney his wanta-be hacker handle : Death his email address : dorney@west.net his web site : http://www.west.net/~dorney/death.html(i already fucked this a little)
his Fone # : 969-6905 and 969-7305(ask for Todd)
his address : 1899 School House Rd. Santa Barbara, CA 93108

He is : 12 and has a brother (Chris)[older] and a sister (sabrina) [younger]
well there it is hope u can help me.
thanx!
-Anonymous

---

Hmmm, maybe I should charge him for this service? bwahahaha
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From: meat@axcess.com
Date: Mon, 27 May 1996 03:10:41 -0700
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: HELP!

Maybe you can help...

Is there any doc that decribes how to hack html passwords?

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Ahhhh, HTML is a language, it doesn't have passwords.
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From: Anonymous
Date: Thu, 11 Apr 1996 16:20:21 -0500
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject:

ARE YOU HACKERS???
I NEED HELP !

---

You need more than help dude.
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From: Lance Diode
Date: Sun, 07 Apr 1996 20:52:45 -0700
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: more people

this kinda sucks because u can only have 3 users get more

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Let me run down to the corner store and buy some for you.
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From: 104444.1111@compuserve.com
Date: Sun, 7 Apr 1996 12:01:21 -0400
To: whacked@l0pht.com

I am new here. I am interested in hacking and I don'y know much. I wondered if you could tell me what I need to know and tell me how to get telnet. Please write back explaining this to me. Thanks.

BUTTER FINGER

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How to get telnet? Yeah, you are new.
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From: getit
Date: Wed, 03 Apr 96 23:25:45 0800
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: (no subject)

how do i get it?

---

Get what?
---

From: Some guy
Date: Mon, 27 Aug 1956 12:37:11 +0000
To: The Whacked Mac Archives
Subject: Re: Hi there!

Sorry to bug you, but what's a DNS?
Thanx.

---

Notice the date in the previous message. Me thinks he needs a new battery.
---

From: Mike
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 1996 17:14:05 -0800
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: War Dialers

Could you please tell me what a war dialer is?

-TheGetAClue

The Truth is Out There

Clueless@mail.calypso.com

---

You mean some people have never seen War Games?
--

From: "Ah Huh"
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 1996 18:06:44 +0000
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: poblems

explain pleez
-huh

---

Explain what?
---

From: newbie@aol.com
Date: Thu, 21 Mar 1996 21:22:42 -0500

ton thad be cool just wundering if this iz even going to
wurk.....Well i'm from Boston too mail me bak! =]

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Congratulations. How did I become the very first E_Mail this guy sent?
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From: XXX@service1.uky.edu
Date: Wed, 20 Mar 96 17:57:21 0000
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: id program

I am going on vacation the first week of April and desperately need a
fake id. Please tell me where I can go to get one.
Thanks
XXX

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How does Mac software = fake ID's?
---

From: ???@intac.com
Date: Tue, 19 Mar 1996 10:05:47 -0500
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: MAohell

I am not the usual lamer that asks for programs. I am not even an
AOler. I have started a hacker group. Unfortuanetly, one of the
members is a MAc User. I could really use maohell for him. Any other
way I can get this besides going to your FTP site. It has the max users
of 3....

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You sure sound like the usual lamer to me.
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From: IMLAME@eworld.com
Date: Fri, 15 Mar 1996 19:15:37 -0800
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: Re: Peak Hours

OH i had got in...just knocked out! You know it was so cool! I really loved
it. =)

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Ummm, yeah. Dude, go smoke something. Chill, OK?
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From: Reality@eworld.com
Date: Thu, 14 Mar 1996 16:26:04 -0800
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: $

if i like some of them i'll give u money for more stuff
and my be we could do biz...

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Yeah, we can do biz. Meet me in the alley at midnight.
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From: Reality@eworld.com
Date: Thu, 14 Mar 1996 16:21:43 -0800
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: hi

please send me some hacking stuff for mac...
i'm just learning....
thanks
laters

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Does this look like Taco Bell?
---

From: TUPUS@aol.com
Date: Thu, 14 Mar 1996 07:05:03 -0500
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: Your web sight

I have looked at the MAC files, but how do you download them? That would be
something I'd like. Thanks!

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I guess most people don't realize that there is a helava lot more to the net than Netscape.
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From: IMLAME@eworld.com
Date: Wed, 13 Mar 1996 14:51:41 -0800
To: whacked@l0pht.com
Subject: HELLO! =) Great web page but need to ask a auqestion

I can never access your ftp...anyway where could I access the hacking files
on your web page...I am a novice at hacking but learning quickly but really
can't because of so many pc's files and so little mac files. Anyway do u have
thing with AOL?

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If you really did learn quickly you wouldn't be sending this E_Mail.
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whacked@l0pht.com